Juicing eh?  It always seems like a good idea, but if any of you have ever done it, you’ll know the trials and tribulations, the emotional turmoil and the extreme wanting to punch someone-ness that comes along with doing it.

As part of our Lean in 2016 healthy January, I graciously took one for the team and committed to doing a 5 day juice cleanse.  Wanna find out how 1 Kirsty -solid food + 20 juices worked out? Mon then…..

I am a girl who has a poor diet. I consider pizza to be one of my 5 major food groups and probably eat on average 3 a week.  I’m happy with my body so I don’t really want to lose any weight, but I have a SEVERE lack of energy (nap daily) and have stomach issues that leave me unable to stand up on a regular (almost daily) basis, so to say my body is in need of a little TLC is the understatement of the year!

My mum gave me Jason Vale’s 5lbs in 5 days juicing detox book about a year ago.  I attempted and failed last year making only 2 days worth- I accidentally ate a pizza on day 2 and couldn’t be bothered cleaning my juicer AGAIN and called it a day.  Not this time bitches!

 

Day 1

Raring to go and buzzing that I actually ENJOYED the taste of my first juice, off I went to work with a wee cooler full of the green stuff. Surprisingly throughout the day I didn’t feel hungry at ALL but that could have been the KFC binge I had the night before- pre cleanse…I guess we’ll never know.

Pros- It was my first day back at work and I was swamped so I didn’t really have time to eat anyway but shockingly, by home time I was still full of energy…a WIN!

Cons- I peed literally 23 times and by my 3rd juice my stomach was sticking out like I was 5 months pregnant- THANKFULLY I was wearing a floaty dress so I could hide the basketball of bloat under it!

Day 2

Slightly less raring to go, but still not hungry!  Day 2 loomed with a sinister looking concoction…and here ladies and gents, I met my nemesis.  BEETROOT.

This purple disaster (I hated it so much I didnt even take a picture) was the bane of my existence today, but I powered through!

Pros- Still not hungry!  HUNDREDS of energy!

Cons- The taste of the beetroot was honestly the most disgusting thing that has ever happened to my life.  Although it was a slightly less massive belly than yesterday, I still feel kinda uncomfortable.  Still ALOT of peeing and honestly, the thought of making tomorrow’s juices when I get home from work has been annoying me all day.

Day 3

Today’s juices were a GODSEND in comparison to yesterdays!  On Day 3 you get to drink 2 home-made smoothies and I purposefully didn’t blend them up too much so I could trick my brain into believing I was actually eating something.  The Berry Banana Crunch and The Green Refresher were today’s plan and this was DEFINITELY the tastiest of days! The Berry Banana has natural yoghurt in it so it felt more like a milkshake! God I miss milkshakes man…

Pros- The smoothie was thick so I was happy to finally have something with a bit more in it than JUST juice.  Still don’t feel hungry! Weighed myself and I’ve lost 5 pounds in 2 days- that’s a pro if your aim is weight loss!

Cons- Today I felt awful all morning.  No energy, sore head & just a bit BLAH.  However, once I drank my Green Refresher I got the turbo kick I needed!  Lost 5 pounds (I know I just said that was a pro), but I could count every single rib on my back when I was getting dressed this morning…yuck.  I really really really miss food today : ( Someone juice me up a Domino’s please…that counts right?**

**Confession time- at approx 12:30am I colossally fell off the wagon.  I dont know what happened.  I wasn’t hungry but one minute I was cleaning my kitchen counter (from juicing AGAIN) and the next I was laying on my couch surrounded by 22 (yes twenty – fucking- two) Roses wrappers. I even ate the rubbish ones!!!! I’m sorry troops : ( I’ve let you all down, but hey! A girls gotta eat!

Day 4

After last night’s ‘mishap’, I step on the scales this morning to see I haven’t gained or lost any weight! I may have found the most ridiculous diet ever ladies! Just drink juice all day and gorge on Roses at night to maintain your weight! This must be how the Celebrities do it right?

Today I am SUPER motivated to stick to plan. Thankfully, I got to sup on this wee beaut today…

Oranges, carrots and ginger…yummy!

Pros- I feel so bad about last night that NO side effects (slight headache, exceptionally irratable) are holding me back today.  I am POWERING THROUGH!

Cons- Everytime I think about eating all those Roses I feel like an utter failure!

Hip hip HOORAY it’s Day 5 Today!

Today I was supposed to have more beetroot disgustingness but I did a wee switcheroo and had more of my orange, ginger and carrot concoction. Honestly, I think I have a legit phobia of beetroot now. Today I am a broken lady just flopping my way to the finish line. I am genuinely ELATED that this detox is over. Where’s the pizza at?

So 5 days and 20 juices later, wanna know what I learned?

• Juicing DOES give you loads of energy. (I always thought that was just something idiots said to make them feel better about being juice wankers)
• Juicing DOES keep hunger pangs away
• Not eating (even if I’m not hungry) turns me into an irritable, frosty BITCH!
• Losing 8lbs in 5 days through juicing only is absolutely NOT worth it
• Juice detoxes do train your brain to eat better. Come the end I would’ve thanked you as much for a nice grilled chicken salad as I would for a Big Mac meal

My advice my little babes is this… balance is the key to life. YES I will introduce juices (the ones I liked) into my real -non detoxing- life; I have genuinely had bags of energy and this is the longest I’ve ever gone in my entire LIFE without a nap!

NO I will never again embark on a gruelling detox/ crash diet ever again. I like to be happy. So if spanking a wee salad into the mix every other day keeps me healthy and energized then I’m happy to oblige.

This week has been one of the most annoying of my life, even WITH all the Pro’s I mentioned. I’d like to extend my sincerest apologies to anyone I accidentally bitched out for no reason and to my lovely boyfriend for putting up with my unnacceptable mood swings and generally being a wee cow all week- thanks Bae ; )

Love Kirsty xxx