Ahhhhhh Zante.  My girls and I just returned from a banging week in our favourite girls holiday destination- Zante! 

This is the third time I’ve been so I know EXACTLY what to expect- Zante doesn’t change, but what I found last week babes, is that I think I have *sad face 

Zante has a particular kind of charm- it’s basically just one strip filled with bars, clubs and more 1€ slices of margerita pizza than you can shake a stick at. Every taxi is 6€- regardless of where you’re going; 100 miles- 6€, 200 yards- its 6€ baby.  Sometimes ya win, sometimes ya lose. The beach is pretty tiny but the love and protection they show for the turtles that inhabit the bay is JUST adorable- all in all, it’s a pretty perfect wee place. 

In previous trips I have been all about tanning my bod by day and slamming shots by night and it’s been exsquisite. My absolute best girls holiday was there and after waking up in our hotel room with about 9 other passed out people the most hungover I’ve ever been, I turned to my bestie Naomi and asked ‘how much longer do we have to stay here?’ She replied- ‘this is only day 2 mate’- my world crumbled- but my soul sang! You jump in the pool, get a vodka slush and just keep on going- it’s the Zante way!

This holiday was slightly different for me because dare I say it…I’m kinda over it. That’s right, and hey, I’m as surprised about it as you are honey!  Last week I found myself thinking about what loveliness I was going to have for dinner (in previous years that consisted of a bag of Salted Ruffles with my balcony pre-drinks) and thinking ‘ok, if I stop drinking now I can probably be tanning at 10am’- what the fuck?! What has happened to me???? 

It was a stark realisation (despite being 29 years old, with a decent job and a mortgage) that I think I am officially a grown up- I. Am. Devastated. 

So I’m gonna do this a little differently- I’m gonna give some top tips from Kirsty for Crazy Zante Times and some tips from Kirsty for Slightly Less Crazy (but still PURE brilliant) Zante times! This place has alot to offer, so this way you don’t miss out sweetcheeks…

18-30 vibes

• Stay in the Mariana Hotel

It’s right at the top of the strip but it’s WELL worth the 6€ fare! The staff are hilarious, pretty much ANYTHING goes- 24 hour pool bar- perfecto!

• Go to Cocktails and Dreams

By far the sweatiest and stickiest bar you will ever be in and named because of a movie you’ve definately never heard of, it’s a must. The electric sign is a Zante icon. You will rub up against people, but I think you might kinda like it ; )

• Club it up

The strip has a bunch of clubs open till about 6am- just in time for a quick morning dip in the sea and then back on it! Rescue, Zeros and Cherry Bay are probably your best bet. Don’t forget to get a snap on the Cherry Bay jet ski! (The beach opening of Cherry Bay is closed now to protect the turtles- see what I mean, ALL THE TURTLE LOVE!) 

• Day time drink of choice is vodka slush

Now this ones important. I have a friend who pretty much survived solely on these and the occassionaly cheese toastie.  The Zante sun is hot, so if you gotta be on it all day, a vodka slush is my advice. And OF COURSE waters in between!

• Zante Nandos

Sometimes you just can’t beat a wee (I refuse to say ‘cheeky’ here) Nandos.  Peri Heaven (or Zante Nandos to you and I) is perfection.  It recently moved location and is on Kalamaki Road, so don’t go to the old location, find it’s now called Red Peppers (which is also delish) and go in the huff for 2 days…like I did. It’s still there and better than ever!

Ok, so your days of laying poolside drinking tequila out of a water gun and being surrounded by 19 year olds getting finger-banged in the pool are over? Sames *sobs 

Fear not, I got you girl!

• Go see the Shipwreck

The Zante shipwreck is like it’s Eiffel Tower, it’s Statue of Liberty, it’s Duke of Wellington with a traffic cone on his head (Glaswegians only). You gotta see it! Boat trips take you out for the day for serious tanning, deck jumping and salty cave good times- its the perfect way to spend a day!

• Rodi restaurant for ALL meals

This wee hidden gem right at the top tip of the strip is an absolute DREAM! The staff are the sweetest, the decor is the cutest and the spaghetti bolognaise, pizzas and chicken dishes will literally give you a face orgasm. Even the bread and tzatziki starter will blow your mind!

• Cheeky Tiki’s for karaoke

Now if ya know me you’ll know I LOVE me some karaoke- and Cheeky Tikis is the perfect spot to slam shots, drink Pornstar Martinis and sing your heart out! Special thanks to the DJ for cheering me and Naomi on when we sang Tenacious D ‘Tribute’ – and nailed it obvz!

• Get a Big Boy’s

All sung out and ready to hit the hay? You aint going nowhere till you’ve got a Big Boy up in ya! Open all night and burgers and slices to DIE FOR, you cannot go to Zante and not have a Big Boy (burger that is babes). 

So there you have it- everything you ever need to know about Zante. It saddens me that I probably won’t be back there but the good times I’ve had there just cannot be beaten. It will forever be my favourite! 

To Zante with love, don’t ever change.

KBang xx