Vegas Diaries: Vol 3

Welcome back to Vegas beauts! Hopefully you’re all caught up on Vol 1 & Vol 2 and now we are gonna celebrate my BIRTHDAYYYYYYY #dirtythirty in style baby…let’s do this…

There aint nothin better than having a birthday celebration (or any celebration really) in Sin City! With literally a MILLION things to do, you can’t really go wrong but I had one thing on my mind and one thing only… strip club baby. More on that later ; )

So we wake up on our final full day in Vegas and I am BUZZING! It’s my birthday celebration day, I’m still a little drunk from last night and I’m ready to get all up into this beautiful sunny day! With a little help from my trio of lifesavers of course…

First stop- Caesars Palace buffet! When the lady asks us if we want unlimited wine for $15 you bet yo ass we obliged- cheers bitchez!

This buffet has literally EVERYTHING. We had 3 plates each and were finishing up when we realised there was a WHOLE OTHER ROOM of more effing buffet! So of course, we dug deep and we kept eating- pizza, sushi, steak, sliders, cakes, tacos, chipotle chicken, rice, gelato and all the wine later- I am DONE!

Get me to da pool!

The pool area in Caesars is just incredible- the sun loungers are comfy and the warm desert sun was perfection. My wine haze and the warm breeze sent me right into Nap Town….I am in absolute bliss ❤

Disco nap over, we got ALOT to cram in- up and at em baby…we going to Freemont Street!

If ya don’t know, Freemont Street is old Vegas, it such a great time and almost makes me feel like I’ve gone back in time to the Rat Pack days when I see the Golden Nugget and Vegas Vic. Kinda trashy but in the funnest way- true Vegas. We wandered around soaking in the sights (naked cowboy included) we headed to the Slotzilla Zipslide.

Strap me in and let’s do this!!! Me and my 3 girls lay side by side and flung ourselves right on this! Actually when I got strapped in I started to get REAL scared but once we got started I loved every second of it! Definately recommend!

We got some drinks (I got a Big Mac meal- lunch was like 3 hours ago and that buffet is a distant memory) and we sat people watching and just taking a wee beat to try and catch up. The past 3 days are really catching up now and I genuinely can’t believe how much we’ve crammed in! Drinks done- we wave goodbye to Freemont Street and head to get our thrill ride on, at the Stratosphere

The Big Shot is one of my favourite rides of all time- at 1081ft it is the highest thrill ride in the world. It shoots you up and the entire Vegas Strip opens up before your eyes (if you aren’t afraid to open them baby). Insanity is just that- a claw dangles you off the tower and spins you around- it’s fucking horrendous. It’s honestly the strangest feeling in the world, some love it but I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever felt like I was closer to death. Not cool. XScream is a see saw ride that shoots you off the building and will DEFINATELY have your heart racing!!!!

By this time, the all day drinking and the ridiculousness of the Stratosphere rides has us pretty hysterical- what a day so far and the party hasn’t even REALLY started ; )
Back to the room, the ladies went to Cirque Du Soleil (I wasn’t into it because I’ve seen it before) and I kicked about and prepared for the evening ahead. Our driver was picking us up at midnight to take us to Hustler and I wanna look on FLEEEEEEEEK!

I had originally booked us into a different place but got an email the day before saying they had a power outage and were closed…NOOOOOO! Someone obviously swung their dingaling into the fuse box and now I’m frantically trying to find naked people in Vegas, which was harder than it sounds!

The clock strikes midnight and Josh our driver pulls up in a badass limo to take us to Hustler. As we get closer I actually started to feel a bit nervous?! #1 I am excited to see all da naked people #2 I’ve always wanted to go to a strip club #3 Not one of my pals are remotely interested in doing this but they’re all dragging their asses here for me so I’m under pressure that they’re all gonna hate it and I’ll have ruined our last night in Vegas. So yeah, I have some butterflies to say the least.

As Josh escorts us to the front desk we are led through a door and BOOM. It’s exactly how I imagined. Titties EVERYWHERE! These girls looked incredible- silicone city but their bodies were as amazing as the moves they were pulling up on the pole! I could tell that not everyone was enjoying the show as much as me so we hopped on the lift to the top floor- where the guys were.

Now I have always thought that male strippers would have been totally creepy but then Magic Mike happened and I was a changed woman. Don’t get me wrong now, the baby oiled, long haired, cheesiness of like, The Chippendale’s still creeps the life out of me- but give me a hot American dude in a snap back with some moves and a body that literally makes you do praise hands emoji when you set eyes on it and I was an extremely happy lady : )

These guys were UNREAL. Genuinely the best looking men I have ever set eyes on. Every now and then they’d get up and dance on stage- break dancing and getting their kit off while ladies threw dollar bills at them- it was glorious! The guys came around the tables and chatted to everyone- literally everytime I mentioned it was for my birthday they asked me if they could take me on stage. Under normal circumstances I would have been all over it, but the way they were throwing girls around, flipping them over their shoulder and the like- I was pretty certain that my slinky little dress would not maintain its integrity and I’d be the only gal flashing my little flower in the building who wasn’t getting paid- so nah.

Unfortunatly no pics were allowed in the club : ( however, when one of the guys found out it was my birthday he slid my chair over to the side of the room and gave me a dance that had me going all kinds of crazy- and Steph sneaked a snap As you can probably tell- I am loving every minute of it! At the end he told me that was a freebie but I slipped him a little somethin somethin and made it rain all over him till I’d ran out of dollah billz- WHAT A NIGHT!

Josh came to pick us up at the end of the night and we headed back to Caesars to go to Omnia- but we spent so long with the strippers that the club was closed. Boo! Not to worry though, my high from the strippers could not be dampened!

Naomi and I decided have a jacuzzi party in the room while the other girls slept it off- but first, I need some jacuzzi snacks…

$30 later, I had me some chicken, a vodka and strawberry lemonade in hand and me and Naomi are jacuzzi-ing it up loving life…

I tried to set the mood with some bubbles (by pouring my shampoo in) but when Naomi turned the jets on the bubbles went SEVERELY out of hand and I may or may not have clogged the jets for the next guests- my bad : )

This was genuinely one of my favourite days of my whole life- from start to finish- the perfect Vegas #dirtythirty party!
I went to sleep as the sun came up and I could not have had a happier day/night!

3 hours later we were awake for our last little part of Vegas- we went to the Vegas sign, did some shopping, ate at Fatburger (perfection) and I spent my life savings in Bath and Body Works. We had our last Vegas meal in The Cheesecake factory and we reminisced about the highs and lows, the laughs and all the memories we created that we will cherish forever!

The limo picked us up and took us back to the airport- I slept the whole limo ride, I slept the 2 hours till flight time, I slept the 10 hours to Heathrow, I slept the 2 hours till home flight and I slept the hour flight back to Glasgow.

Vegas, you ended me…and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

So there you have it babes, my whirlwind #dirtythirty Vegas Diaries- we made that little town ours for those 3 days and I’m not I’ve even fully recovered now 3 weeks later but hot damn…what a holiday ❤