Hey beautiful. Lemme guess real quick… You’ve found yourself here for 1 of 2 reasons… 1. You’ve been burned by a FB before and you wanna confirm that it wasn’t YOUR fault (and that’s ok) or 2. like most- you’re interested in what tea I’m about to spill (and that’s ok too).

You can look at this little blog for guys and girls… a tutorial for wannabe FB’s looking to level up, or a Good Girl’s guide to spotting the finesse. This blog is a double threat, a real crowd pleaser…I’m the fucking gift that keeps on giving sweetcheeks.

No darlin, I aint talkin about a basic bitch ‘u up’ at 3am FB, I’m talking about a skill, a talent, a 21st century artform, a true DADDY.

So sit back, relax…one hand free to scroll and the other nestled in the waistband of your gray sweatpants baby and let’s roll…

So the term ‘Fuckboy’ is flung about loosely these days and I guess that’s because as discussed in my previous Good Girls guide to Casual Dating post , the dating/ sex world has all become a bit… flippant. We ‘like’, DM, swipe right, match up so casually these days that the quest for ‘real love’ has all become a bit draining.

Enter Fuckboys. This casual way of hooking up has created the perfect environment for a FB to thrive. No strings, little emotion, ‘one and done’, hit it and quit it and get on with your damn day means us Good Girls are out here in these streets getting PLAYYYYYYED. Fear not though sweet thing, I’m here to help you navigate these waters, have some fun and hopefully not get that heart broken. I got you girl.

Now, I wouldn’t be a true Good Girl if I wrote a blog about Fuckboy Finesse and didn’t consult with THE Fuckboy himself. The Don, the legend, the ultimate Daddy and expert in all things Fuckboy related…yes people, the main man himself @your_fuckboy (Insta) done me a solid and gave me an opportunity to pick his brain on the very subject.

His podcast is UNREAL- all things sex/ FB related and questions from his 1.2 MILLION Instagram followers- it’s a real treat. Catch it on soundcloud ‘Plan B Podcast’ . A definite recommendation from me if you wanna get in the ‘zone’ of how a REAL FB thinks and also if you wanna explore your own Good Girl tendencies and learn some new ummmm ‘tricks’ ; ) *sidenote- Episode 2 in the first like, 10 mins…GAME CHANGER*

So I asked him a bunch of FB related questions and true to form, his honesty and logical approach gave me exactly what I needed. You’ll find his seed sprinkled all thoughout this blog.

Let me put this in a way honey, that will make sense to you… you know when you meet a guy and there’s something different (and not in a good way, but also not in an overly bad way either), something a littleeeeee uncertain, potentially insincere. Thats your first sign.

Now depending on where your head is at, you’ve got 2 choices girl-

1. Get out, call it a day.

2. Decide to go with it at your own risk, coz baby you’re about to find yourself in a sexual bear trap that against your better judgement keeps you locked in and dropping plans (and panties) in an instant to go back for more.

Your call.

I will caveat as always, I’m no expert. However in my limited experience, and ‘interviewing’ my very own FB at the end of last year (we were cool like that) here’s what I know…

Don’t ever believe you’re the only one.

No girl, not even for one second. The thing with guys is that they don’t intrinsically have emotional connections when they hook up. They have the wonderful skill of attaching no emotion to doing the nasty…which means they can have a bunch of us falling in line. My FB told me he will have up to 3 ‘locals’ in the rotation and a wider network that he can hit up depending on where he’s at.

He also told me he’ll check up on a girls social network to make sure they’re not friends with any of his other girls before you go in his squad. Wild, but given what we’re talking about, somewhat considerate.

How he’ll act-

This one. This one keeps us right in place. This one is the ultimate.

He’ll be sweet, but not overly sweet all the time. When you’re with him, he does ALL the things you want. The sweet stuff; the compliments, the cuddles, the things girls want from a guy that tells them, ‘it’s all you girl’ and for right now, that time you’re together, it is all you girl. Make no mistake though, the second you’re out of there, it’s ALL the next girl.

This brings me to the whole ‘manipulation’ piece. Sometimes girls (myself included) will put themselves in situations, not get the outcome we want, and totally trash the other person. We need to stop that. Let’s stop that.

@your_fuckboy- “I think there’s manipulation from both sides in any situation, I think the only levels of manipulation are who is better at it. Some may say that I manipulate by telling the truth, and they probably aren’t wrong”

Honesty is the best policy always. However, sometimes we hear the truth and believe (hope) it’s open to change. Unfortunately babygirl in this situation, it’s probably not.

When you’re not with your FB, he’s probably a little distant. Not alot of communication, no ‘checking in’, which is what drives girls wild. ‘He was so into me when I was there’ (he’s got you in your feelings), ‘and now it’s different?’ This will cause you-the girl- to act out in ways you maybe wouldn’t have before (sexually, emotionally) in order to keep his attention when he’s not with you- it’s devastatingly genius. This is smart, because when he hits you with that message next, you’re gonna go running babe. FACTS.

He’s never gonna go over the line. He won’t lead you to believe you’re progressing, but he won’t confirm that you’re NOT progressing. He’ll just keep doing this merry go round of intense emotion when you’re with him, to distant AF when you’re not… and as much as I hate to say it, it works. So if you’re over thinking things- that’s on you girl (oh it’s clever).

This brings us to the ultimate rule- leave your emotions at the door sweet thing. This, THIS is a killer for us girls, and I’d say I’m a girl who’s pretty in control of my emotions in all other aspects of life. This however, not so much.

@your_fuckboy – “I try to tell people, men and women, all the time, to learn how to control your emotions and not let your emotions control you. I’m not sure many people understand what I’m saying because they’re most likely run completely by emotion. But if you can grasp what I’m saying and learn it, you are one large step closer to becoming invincible to any situation, running on pure logic. Emotions aren’t real, you are in control of them.”

Now, this one…I cannot stress enough how important this one is. Mum/ Dad, if you’re reading this…sorry-

D game strong.

Now I’m not talking just the ‘deed’ itself, I’m talking about throwing it DOWN in all areas. ALL OF THEM. No half measures, ‘A’ game always. Cuz let’s be real girl, no ones putting themselves through any of this if the D game is trash.

@your_fuckboy nailed this one- “I think women are always quick to go back and sleep with a man that they know is going to completely satisfy them sexually because from what it seems, it’s hard to find someone that can do that, so despite the fact that they can’t stand you, they know what they’re going to get and apparently it’s worth it to them to overlook certain things“.

What. A. legend.

Now, those are the basics of understanding what’s happening and how to recognise the finesse. One thing I will say, is that in my time spent with aforementioned FB- I genuinely had a blast. However, girls aren’t cut out for that kindof treatment any longer term than I’d say 3-6 months (9 months MAX) before the BAD BITCH in you starts to lose her mind and act a damn fool. My theory was confirmed by my FB who said there are girls he’s let go of around this time frame as he could see it was all getting a bit much for her. Again, considerate. I got to like, month 6 before he moved overseas for work and honey, I’m glad cuz I was was feeling that crazy bitch coming up realllllllll fuckin’ quick.

My advice babygirl is this- the second you start feeling that pit in your stomach when you leave his place (you know, that guilty, sicky, unfulfilled little hole that makes you kinda sad? You KNOW what I’m talkin about) Its time to nut up -tell him and see if he’s into something more (unlikely) – or call it quits for real. That feeling sucks.

So there you have it boo thang, I’ve given you all I’ve got. As we strive to find our ultimate Bae who’s got all the Good Guy attributes we need with just the perfect sprinkling of DADDY to keep it interesting, I hope this little bit of tea has you fired up, and ready to get it girl.

Big thanks to @your_fuckboy and ‘My’ FB for their help on this : )

Come through on my Insta with all your FB experiences, good and bad. Sweetcheeks, I’m down to kiki about this always…

Love KBang x