Ok ok ok so it’s been some time since I’ve hit you with some of my Dating Ghetto Gospel baby, so let’s kick this MF’er back into gear with some chat on ‘Casual Dating’; What does it mean? Why is it fun? Can you handle it?

Strap on, I mean in…and let’s do this boo…

So let’s just talk about what it is real quick. Casual Dating is the delicately balanced, potentially harrowing but generally inoffensive means of dating someone with ‘No Strings Attached’. Casual by definition is relaxed and effortless, but honey, there is nothing relaxed and or effortless about casual dating unless you know what you’re in for.

In a time where Fuckboys and Instagram hoe’s rule the world and your access to literally every single person on the entire planet is in the palm of your hand, I can’t help but think our importance on finding that one person who is your everything has kind of depleted. People place less importance on quality experiences (unless it’s for the gram) and everything and everyone has become somewhat ‘disposable’. Sad (very sad.) but painfully true.

So, based on my exceptionally limited (1 experience) Casual Dating career, lemme hit you with what I’ve learned / still learning to stop you making a damn fool of yourself out in these streets honey ; )

Ok real talk- in my personal opinion, there is not one vagina owning person on this planet who is 100% down with Casual Dating. One of 2 things is happening-

• Girl finds herself in the situation (sometimes accidentally) and decides to try something new (this means she’ll do it until she finds someone else to move forward with)
• Girl is tryna come across as chill (‘yeah baby, I’m not looking for anything serious either’ *goes home and cries) but is DEFINITELY trying to be the one that ‘changed him’. She’s gonna end up hurt and/ or slashing some tyres.

My advice if you have to be one of these girls (and you have to)…be the first girl.

Expectation setting from the jump.

Lads, no girl is going into anything with the idea that this will be casual, so if that’s where your head is at…let her know.

Don’t avoid all conversation about it and hope she gets it- we don’t.

Girls are programmed differently from boys. We are loving and affectionate by nature and we get attached (especially after the D).

So let’s just all be honest about what’s happening as it will save alot of overthinking (on either part) and everyone will actually be much more fun to be around without all the uncertainty in their head, sound fair?

Don’t blur the lines

Casually dating someone means you like them and enjoy your time together, but for whatever reason (circumstances, logistics, personal preference) it’s highly unlikely to ever progress. This means not doing the things you do in a relationship. SO;

• No daily contact
• No meeting each others family
• Can meet friends, but circumstantially, not a planned hang to meet the person your dating casually
• No making plans well in advance
• No gifts/ anything sentimental

This is the part that I think is the balancing act especially for girls. We naturally want things to progress, so re-read these and remember that although he likes you, he aint wifing you babe.

The next part is a big one. Like THE ONE.

Keep your jealousy on lock.

Now. I am not a jealous person. I do however live by 2 rules, and the first one is this-

Loyalty above everything.

So you can imagine in the Casual Dating world why this may pose a problem for your old pal Kirsty *dies inside

In my relationship history I’ve never had to be jealous- I’m ride or die for someone and I have had 100% trust that that is reciprocated. So when I met someone I like and started dating casually, I had to re-adjust my mindset a little (wouldn’t say my success rate on this has been flawless but fuck it).

My advice to keep yourself from acting like a bitch ass is the following;

• Don’t be looking on their social media LIKE EVER. You do not wanna see who’s pics they’re liking or who’s commenting on their pics coz honey you’ll end up FUCKING RAGING and balls deep in some hoe’s instagram accidentally liking pics from 2013 looking like an absolute dick.
• Don’t press them about other girls/guys (I’m a fucking nightmare for this- it’s the inherent loyalty thing- I struggle to shake it sometimes.) You know the deal, you’re choosing to be in this. So STOP being salty about it. (That last part was really just me talking to me for a sec)

Play the field.

If your casually dating you are free to do whatever you want. Meet new people, have different experiences, but it’s a little slice of familiarity and attention you can keep going back to.

Think of it like somewhere between a booty call and a boyfriend- you spend a decent amount of time together so you have some level of feelings and trust, they know what you like so you’ll always have a good time, but you probably won’t ever have to buy them a Christmas present- everyone’s a winner here!

Without encouraging you to live your best hoe life, I will say (girls especially) make sure you are talking to, interacting with, dating other people- I made the mistake of NOT doing this for the first few weeks.

This is your best chance of limiting attachment and actually enjoying the Casual Dating scenario. Then once you find what you’re actually looking for… high five/ sports guy chest bump or whatever and call it a day with your Casual Boo.

Last up but certainly not least…

Be respectful.

So my second rule that I live by is this-

People don’t earn respect, give it to everyone until they give you a reason not to

You can imagine why this is important in Casual Dating for a few reasons so-

• Don’t talk about other people you’re talking to/dating
• Don’t talk about things you’ve done on dates with other people (even if you don’t mention it was a date- they will know)
• Don’t message other people while you’re with them. That’s the biggest of dick moves.
• It is NOT a booty call when you’re wasted- thats something entirely different

So there you have it beaut, my guide to Casual Dating and some tips to hopefully keep your head and your heart on track while having some fun. Just know what you’re in for, do not I repeat DO NOT overthink it and overall be respectful of each other and you’ll be sound : )

If you’re going down this road and thinking anything more is going to come of it, please remember…if they really liked ya that much, it would never have been casual in the first place baby.

It’s definitely not for everyone. Honestly, I’m not really sure it’s for me either, but you know me honey..I’ll try anything once ; )

See ya next time sweetcheeks,

KBang x